I realize with each passing day that there are things in this life I’m only going to get a glimpse of; things like the way a sunset is supposed to look like without broken eyes or a broken sky. The way I love sunlight shimmering off the water. As I gaze upon the aquatic canvas, I sense I’m caught up in a mosaic of God’s sparkling glory. There are times I’m keenly aware of moments of resonance with all that is surrounding me. From time to time I have a sense of authenticity and relating—without walls of protection or pretense, only heart unclouded by insecurity. I get moments of forgetting unbridled Joy is only reserved for a place where sin has not tainted enjoyments experienced with distrusts and bonds. But I can see bliss from a distance. I can see the way life is supposed to be in my heart's eye and for the fleeting moment I know peace vaulted with joy!
Unfortunately, these glimpses are what they are, just peeks of what is supposed to be and then the distractions come. Quickly the roar of fallen reality shocks the heart's eye back out of focus; thirst of a dry and dusty land cause dehydrations awakening and we find ourselves drawn back into the dimness of the world’s tears. We quickly retreat from unguarded—back into the fortresses walled in by hurts and disappointments. And so we come to the place of the Psalmist, “Why are you downcast O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?”
When I think about what the Psalmist is lamenting; his thirst, pain, and memories of gladness, it is no mystery he has come into the bewilderment of his life in downheartedness. How can we look at our worldly realities in light of the glimpses of what our lives were meant to be, and not question the condition of our hearts, our lives, and our circumstances? Those moments of a shalom-like vision where somewhere in the recess of our heart’s pallet we taste and see that the Lord is good and we are meant to enjoy good beyond its fullest! We feel there is something more, something better we are meant for! So we harmonize the reasonable question, “Why am I down?”
God’s grace allows us to glimpse a more perfect reality we are made for. Our song crescendoes into this hope residing in our God who has made us for a perfect destiny. He has made us for the moment when every fiber of our being is living in eternal, blissful relaxation; but not just life without tension and frustration, also life with delight and complete meaning. Every implication of our creation will explode with all that is meant to be right with us: our senses, emotions, speech, and our relationships; everything will be as it is supposed to be!
Therefore, tears turn into immaculate praise; questions into full answers; faith into fulfillment and deep will finally meet Deep! It is for this we are breathing and will continue with perpetual inhaling of holy air. God is more than what I could long for in my current condition. God is greater than any definition of personal that I currently possess. What I dimly see and feel at this present moment can only be grasped by transformed eyes able to absorb glory; the sunset I gaze at, the water’s sparkle that causes my unbending legs to dance, the hope of undiluted love is all in store beyond their current limits in the hope of God!
To be the magnet of God’s powerful affections, his unending attentions and his boundless grace is every hope realized. I’ve seen those moments where vocal perfection resonates upon the glass until its obliteration into shattered pieces. At the moment just as the glass births its freedom from confinement should it know the feeling I’m sure its heart would shout, “I’m bursting into ecstasy! That is where God will continually keep us forever suspended at that moment of ecstasy. Where the song He has placed in our hearts will sing nothing better than “I am in ecstasy!” Here fallen realities have plummeted from view never to be experienced again. This is the holding of everything healed forever. The times in this life of a familiar smell or taste will be completed in the aroma of Christ and the Bon Appetit of the Father.
Therefore, my heart does not dwell in the downcast, but in the hope of God. You and I are made for better than this and every once in a while God gives a glimpse. Enjoy the view for as long as it last, but understand it’s the view's perfection everlasting that is to come.
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for I will yet praise Him my savior and my God.”
Prayer: Father, how I long for perfect love; not just to be loved perfectly but also to love perfectly. How can I stay gloomy long when I know you give me a taste of you now? Father, I know I have all of you and I thank you for that mind-boggling gift, but God I look forward to the day my experience with you is undiluted! I am so ready for honesty God! Father, thank you for the way you love me just as I am. Jesus, I’m so grateful I can be totally genuine with you, so unguarded. Christ how gracious you are to allow me to be free from fear of either hurting you or being punished by you. Lord, I know you discipline those you love, but I’m so grateful your disciple is love lavished. Holy Spirit, I beg you for more and more moments of peeking into the way it should be; the way it will be. These glimpses perk up my heart Lord. Let me see them more and more until it is my home. O Christ, keep me from a foolish mind that blithers about what’s wrong and give me your mind that is my hope! Let my soul no longer be downcast. Let me be lifted in the spirit that I might harmonize with the song you are always singing over me as well as in me! Love you, God!
Reflection: Ponder this day about how God has made you for His perfection. And at this very moment, Jesus is preparing a place for you where your heart will be completely satisfied with ecstasy. Now this day listen to the song He sings in you and over you.
Amanda Williams is a forty-year old wife and mother of two who can still swing her pony tail and display just a tad of sass. She is also a Jesus loving girl who realizes she is nothing without the One who saved her. Amanda has two degrees specializing in serving students with special needs and is currently working in the field of Leadership Development. She is a Christian author, speaker, blogger, and publisher who loves serving beside her husband at her local place of worship, First Baptist Church of Ocala.