I used to think that I could hide pieces of myself from God. I used to think that He could only see what I allowed Him to see, while I worked on getting my dirty, broken parts whole again. I really think God must chuckle at the thoughts that run through my head sometimes, especially when I start thinking that I have any kind of control over anything in this life. He looks down from His holy throne in heaven and just shakes His head at me, thinking “Oh Morgan, haven’t we already been over this my love?” as He sweetly convicts my heart of the sin that I have been trying to hide.
Let’s face it. We all have sinned: dirty, repulsive things in our life that we would die of embarrassment if anyone ever found out. So we push them to the backs of our souls and only show our pretty pieces, the ones that shine and shimmer, never once giving the faintest glimpse of struggle in our lives.
I was raised in a church where everyone seemed perfect. Sins were not openly talked about, nobody spoke about their ugly, and everyone pretended to be walking hand in hand with Jesus (or so it seemed). Then when it came out that someone was being held captive by sin, everyone seemed so caught off guard by it and didn’t know how to react.
Since being a part of other churches, I have realized that it was not just my home church but many other churches that gave off this “perfect” facade. Then I realized something even bigger…
I was treating God like church.
Every time I met with Him, I would praise His name and thank Him for all He was doing in my life but only offering Him the pieces of my heart that I thought were “sparkly” enough. The crazy thing is that I thought it was working.
Here’s the thing: God is not a piece by piece kind of guy. He is more the ALL or NOTHING type. He does not want the pieces of us that we think we have buffed and shined enough to offer to Him, He wants it all, the good, the bad, the hurt, the ugly, the unmentionables; He wants it ALL. So how do we stop holding back EVERYTHING from the only one who can make us shine?
We have to be willing to be REAL. We have to be HONEST about who we really are. We have to be willing to step out of our comfort zone and be TRANSPARENT.
I don’t want to have to pretend that I have my life all together because I don’t. I don’t want to have to pretend that I don’t struggle with sin because I do on a daily basis. I don’t want to pretend to be anything other than what God created me to be.
But yet I still try to hide my ugly. Why?
The answer is simple: I care more about how I look following God instead of just following God.
The truth is that I desperately need Him. This life means absolutely nothing without Him and if that means that I need to show my hurts and my scars to the world then so be it. I know it won’t be easy, but I can find joy in the fact that it won’t be fake.
In my short 25 years on this Earth, I have only lived 3 of them following Jesus and in those three years, I have been able to connect and show the love Christ many more times through my failures than through my perfections. People aren’t perfect, so when we try to pretend like we are, all it does is set others up for failure because perfection is not something relatable, pain is.
What do you think our churches, our small groups, our Bible studies, even our daily encounters would look like if we stopped worrying about how 'perfect' we looked and started focusing on the only perfection that exists—Jesus. What if instead of hiding our hurts, we shared them with each other? What if we were bold enough to talk about our struggles and ask our brothers & sisters in Christ to pray and love us through it? What if we stopped all the judgment & instead offered grace and accountability? How different would our Christian community look? How more inviting would our churches be?
Being real is how, we as Christians, can connect with unbelievers and other believers. I think sometimes we forget that our dirty pieces are just as flawed as everyone else's. Only God is perfect, so that should take the pressure off of us trying so hard to be.
Stop striving for perfect and:
Show your scars.
Learn from your mistakes.
Let God see it all, have it all, & use it all for His glory.
Don’t be so worried about how you look following Jesus and just follow Him in complete abandon.
Reject the status quo.
Realize your broken pieces fit with someone else's; look at it as a blessing from the hurt.
Be proud of who God has made you.
Have a great week and pop your bubble of perfection that serves as protection of the truth!
Amanda Williams is a forty-year old wife and mother of two who can still swing her pony tail and display just a tad of sass. She is also a Jesus loving girl who realizes she is nothing without the One who saved her. Amanda has two degrees specializing in serving students with special needs and is currently working in the field of Leadership Development. She is a Christian author, speaker, blogger, and publisher who loves serving beside her husband at her local place of worship, First Baptist Church of Ocala.