Prayers from the Past by Amanda

I have a book entitled, John 90 Days with the Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore, that I am working through right now.  I was gifted this book by my youngest brother 8 years ago, and I work through it every few years.  Today, I was reading prayers I wrote in the book back in 2008, 2011, and  2012.  I thought I'd share a few with you because God knows they are relevant to me in 2016.

12/29/2008
Lead me and guide me in Your will today.  Show me Your path for me.  Help me not be distracted.  Teach me to focus on your thoughts and desires for my life.  I am Yours, Lord!

12/30/08
God, open my eyes to the every day miracles of life.  Open my eyes to your splendor and glory.  I hate complacency.  I don't want to be lazy in my faith.  I want to be an example of unabated joy to Zachary and Mackenzie.  Thank you for Your willingness to hear me.  

1/4/11
I have a hard time reconciling our choices and the ability to choose with the sovereignty of the Creator.  Thank you for giving me free will.  Thank you for giving me the choice to follow Jesus.  Thank you for Your patience with me.  Teach me to SEE You—through others, through Your Son, through Your Word.  Reveal my daily purpose to me and lead me to trust You.

1/6/12
I want to be pursued.  Yet, I must reach ahead and pursue Jesus.  Forgetting what is behind me.  Forget the fear brought on by depression and anxiety.  I hate this.  Hate where I am right now.  Hate how I feel.  I'm reaching for You.  Thank you for not moving, Jesus.

These are just a few of many.  They are not scripted, not edited, just straight from the heart of a broken woman at the feet of Jesus.  My life circumstances have changed, all prayers were answered, but not always as I asked or imagined.  Here's what I know.  God is faithful through it all, and sometimes my prayers could carry a PG or PG 13 rating.  You see, I've learned to be transparent and real with my Creator.  He can take it.  He knows what is in my heart and I have been afforded the freedom, through Jesus, to lay it all out.  "I don't understand."  "I don't like this."  "I don't like You."  "This sucks."  All things I've said while praying.  Granted, my prayers also contain praise, recognition of His holiness, gratitude for his patience, grace, and mercy and an overwhelming sense of love.  My point is don't be afraid to get real with the God who sees.  He loves you.

Love you all.

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