I have been challenged this last month to trust God with EVERYTHING. My past, my present, and my future. And I have also learned something about myself: I suck at trusting God.
I have all these plans for my life, things I want to accomplish, dreams I want to come true and living a happy long life with the people I love. I never considered that maybe that my plans and God’s are not on the same path but could possibly come to a fork in the road where I would have to choose to follow God’s leading and trust that He knows what is best for me or continue to selfishly follow my own desires and dreams.
Here is the thing, I have come to the fork in the road and it is time for me to choose which path I am going to take. Obviously I know what the best choice is (God’s path) but that does not mean it’s the most appealing. After all, if you have been following my blogs for very long, you know I struggle daily with being selfish. I mean, I gave Jesus my heart but to give Him control over everything in life and to be joyful about it just seems impossible. What if He never grants the deepest desires of my heart or if His plan means losing people/things that would be almost unbearable to endure?
If I am being honest, I have to admit that this is the most difficult moment of my walk with Jesus. I wish I could say that just throwing up my hands in surrender and giving God anything He wants in my life is the easiest choice that I have ever had to make, but it is the hardest.
I want to please God and I desperately want to bring Him glory but I also do not know how to loosen my grip on the ties my flesh has to this world.
Here is what I have had to ask myself: Do I want to trust God? Am I willing to?
After many tears and trying to barter with God about dreams I wanted Him to keep alive in my future, I remembered a verse that brought my so much comfort:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” –Romans 8:28
Before I ever came to this “fork in the road” or chose Jesus over my sins or was even born... He knew that I was going to be His. He knew that I was going to make a lot of mistakes. He knew that it was going to be really hard for me to trust Him. He saw the days where I still chose my desires over His plans. And yet He still created this amazing, challenging journey just for me, to be the best reflection of Him that I could possibly be. He gives me His best, even with all of my uncertainty.
Everything that has anything to do with God is good. It has to be good because He is good, without fail.
So if you struggle with letting go of ALL the things you think you want and with allowing God to give you His best in His way… please know that you are not alone. Trusting God is always the right thing to do, but it is not always the easiest. That is why it is so important to have our brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage us, cry with us, and even drag us to the cross when this life gets hard.
Jesus loves you and me enough to give us the best when we do not deserve it. He loves us enough to pour His grace over us instead of His wrath when we get off His path. He loves us enough to allow us to call out to Him in times of need. He is worthy of our trust and when we decide to offer our hearts, dreams, wishes fully to Him… He gives us what we need, instead of what we want.
It is easy to trust God when life is ticking by to the sound of our clock but how easy is it when it could mean losing everything you have ever known?
It will be hard but I can promise you that God wins and the struggle is worth the reward in the end.
Trust God, even when it sucks. Have a great week!
Amanda Williams is a forty-year old wife and mother of two who can still swing her pony tail and display just a tad of sass. She is also a Jesus loving girl who realizes she is nothing without the One who saved her. Amanda has two degrees specializing in serving students with special needs and is currently working in the field of Leadership Development. She is a Christian author, speaker, blogger, and publisher who loves serving beside her husband at her local place of worship, First Baptist Church of Ocala.