I want a broken heart, desperately.
Now before you go thinking that I’m utterly insane (which could be debatable most days) let me explain. Before experiencing Jesus, my heart was so hard, bitter, used, tattered, and empty. All it did was serve one purpose, pushing the life sustaining blood through my veins. Now that part, I like to stay that way but for all the other things, I want them shattered.
I pray that God breaks my heart and rids it of all that is not of Him. Things like: my selfish desires, my anger, bitterness, sins that I can’t forgive myself for, shame, jealousy, Satan’s lies, and all the other things that have created barriers between me and God.
I want, no NEED, God to break my heart and mold it into one that more resembles His, to fill it with compassion, understanding, selflessness, forgiveness, grace, truth, love, and a soul burning desire for Him only. This process is not an easy one but ya’ll, it’s SO necessary! Everyone who has ever had their heart broken knows that the pain that accompanies it is not comfortable to bear.
Sometimes that pain is so real and so deep that you cannot imagine your heart ever feeling whole again.
In this life, we can’t avoid heartbreak, it is inevitable as human beings, encased with a fury of emotions (where my ladies at?!) living in an imperfect world. But by allowing God to break our hearts and replace it with things of Him, the pain that is sure to come will be woven with the tender mercies of our Savior.
“He heals up the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
I find myself binding my heart to things that are not of God all the time, whether it’s people who I really admire and love or one of the little gods in my life that has crept their way back up to number one. Sadly, most times I don’t even realize that I’ve done it until it’s too late and I’m on my knees once again begging God to unravel my heart from the things that I have clung to instead of Him. I am so thankful for a God so full of truly amazing grace.
In my 24 years, I have learned (more than once) that the world will break you, leave you broken, then torment you for being broken as you frantically try to pick up the pieces and put yourself back together. But I have also learned that if you come to Jesus broken or allow Him to do the breaking, He puts you back together and I’m not talking a kindergarten modge-podge project, I’m talking a Master craftsmen’s finest work, inlaid with the fingerprints of Jesus!
Maybe the world has broken you down and you need to let Jesus put your heart back together. Trust that He is able to take your brokenness and create a masterpiece. Do not fall into Satan’s pit of lies that ‘you could never be whole again’ or ‘you hold no worth’. You, my dear sweet friend, were bought with such a high price that only Jesus’ blood could buy. He hung on that cross, felt every heartbreaking sin of the whole earth, and died just so that He could love you for eternity. You are treasured! He wants to rebuild your broken heart but you have to willing to give Him the pieces.
Maybe you’ve bound your heart to things of this world and you need Jesus to set you free and break your heart for His name again. Don’t worry my friend, I’ve been there too and it is so easy to be beaten down of the waves of manipulation Satan sends our way when it happens. He is there to promptly repeat in our ear ‘you just keep failing, all you are is a failure’ and ‘you don’t deserve grace, yet again’. He’s right. You don’t deserve grace, neither do I or anyone else in this world BUT EVEN STILL... He pours it lavishly over us without stopping.
Maybe the “thing” you have bound your heart to brings so much shame and embarrassment, you couldn’t imagine admitting it to such a Holy God. Well, He already knows and He is patiently waiting for you to bring your trussed heart to Him so He can cut away the binds keeping you from Him.
“Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to Him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” Romans 6:13-14
Let’s bind our heart to our Creator’s and trust Him with our brokenness.
“Let every heartbreak and every scar be a picture that reminds you, who has carried you this far... Cause love sees farther than you ever could. In this moment heaven’s working everything for your good.”-Danny Gokey
Have a great week & keep seeking Jesus!
Amanda Williams is a forty-year old wife and mother of two who can still swing her pony tail and display just a tad of sass. She is also a Jesus loving girl who realizes she is nothing without the One who saved her. Amanda has two degrees specializing in serving students with special needs and is currently working in the field of Leadership Development. She is a Christian author, speaker, blogger, and publisher who loves serving beside her husband at her local place of worship, First Baptist Church of Ocala.