I don't typically refer to myself in third person, so forgive me for the title. However, I want to make it clear I'm not on my pedestal preaching, throwing out guilt and shame with these blogs about my journey on #whole30.
Just take care of yourself. Whatever that looks like for you.
Being overweight runs in my family. Addiction runs in my family. Neither are excuses; I'm simply recognizing the not-so-tasty morsels in my cauldron of genetic ingredients.
I'm a fan of moving. Always have been. So, exercising is not a stretch for me. (See how I did that?) I get a hit from the endorphin rush, and that high makes it worth the effort. Variety tickles my limited attention span, so I feel like I've checked in to a lot of classes over the past twenty something years. Aerobics, weight training, cross fit, running, walking, HIT, Zumba, kickboxing, the list could literally run on and on and on. Bottom line--
Eating. K. This is a whole other thing for me. Again, I've gone through my cycles. In my adult life, the little tag on my clothes has read anything from 2-12. The middle number on the scale ranging from 1-8. Some of you might read that and be a bit shocked; others may shrug your shoulders and say big deal or I wish. Again, this is just Amanda (forgive me) being transparent. At 43, I know my healthy weight range, and it is not what it was at 25. Here's the thing though, I can manipulate the scale and make it dance. I've been in this body a while now, and although it may respond differently, depending on my age, etc. if I put my absolute determined, this will happen mind to it, the magic number will eventually appear.
So, getting there is not my problem either.
My current issues:
A) I'm struggling to care. As in, screw it. It is what it is.
B) Forty-something hormones plus wacky emotions plus I can't even insane schedule equals emotional eating. As in, get those salty-sweet heavenly whatevers in my belly. Right. Now. I'm a pro at this. Refer to the genetics portion of the discussion.
C) I'm smart enough to know A and B can derail my train and affect the people in my life I love and like and care about, in addition to fulfilling my purpose which happens to be loving others like I love myself. Logic leads me to believe if I suck at loving myself, I will do the same to other people. #epicfail
Therefore, what I dig about #whole30 is the why behind the what. I'm no expert; visit the actual site if you're interested in reading about the plan. Basically, I'm stripping out what is potentially making me feel badly and starting from scratch. As in detox.
Second, and this is my favorite, I'm putting my pacifiers away and toddling through 30 days without them.
I'm on Day 4.
There's this amazing page (The Whole30 Timeline, Version 2.0) my friend messaged me that allows me to be in community with others who might be feeling similar emotions on the journey.
I've gone through So What's the Big Deal?, The Hangover (I almost fell flat on my face and passed out at 3pm yesterday), and am now on Kill ALL the things. This spree lasts for about two days, so I love you all and would never physically harm you—ever. Jesus will forgive me for uncontrollable thoughts, I'm sure of it.
As in black.
And yes, I know I can add coconut creamer, but this is one of those psychological blankies I wanted to pack away, so I am intentionally going to the dark side of caffeine.
So far, okay. I'm functioning.
B) The relentless hunt down for the sugar villain. I'm finding sugarless bacon today if it kills me.
A) Almond butter and carrots. Who knew?
B) Ghee. WoW.
In conclusion, I'm really okay. There is some what the heck going on in my body right now, but you know, so what? I'm in my 40's. If my body isn't used to the roller coaster right now, it's time to exit the theme park. And that ain't happening.
Moving with Scribbles,
Amanda Williams is a forty-year old wife and mother of two who can still swing her pony tail and display just a tad of sass. She is also a Jesus loving girl who realizes she is nothing without the One who saved her. Amanda has two degrees specializing in serving students with special needs and is currently working in the field of Leadership Development. She is a Christian author, speaker, blogger, and publisher who loves serving beside her husband at her local place of worship, First Baptist Church of Ocala.