Spending time with our children is very important to both of us. As in most things, we divide and conquer. The routine isn't always the same, but most mornings Jeromy drives the kids to school and they do a devotional during the 20 minute commute. I miss this time, but I have the privilege of praying over our children every night. I no longer call it 'tucking in', because I guess that seems a little juvenile for two middle schoolers. But, I do pray over them and they expect it, and dare I say, enjoy it?
This time looks very different, depending on the child. Zachary is already half asleep by the time I reach his bedside. Sometimes, he prays. Most times, I do. Very straightforward. Very honest. Most times, very quick. And then before I exit the room, he is out.
Mackenzie, on the other hand, is much like me in that she carries things with her during the day and when she lays down at night, they weigh heavy, like an elephant sitting on her chest. I get this. So, I've been crawling into the bed with her and whispering, "What's on your heart?" That is all the prompt she needs and the floodgates open. I listen. We talk. One of us prays and hopefully, she is learning a lesson I so wished I learned at the age of eleven. Lay all that junk at the feet of Jesus. Let it go.
A couple of nights ago, I finished the blessing of ok, I'm just going to say it, tucking them in and then performed my nightly ritual. Hot tea, bath, and a good book. My exhausted, hard working husband was asleep beside me as I turned the glow of the iPad off and assumed my sleeping position. Sleep would not come. Don't you hate that? Ugh. My mind was racing a million miles an hour, going through the events of the day. . .until the Holy Spirit brought it to a screeching halt. There it was. The whisper, "Amanda, what's on your heart?" Earlier in the day, I said something I shouldn't have said. Inconsequential to most, but completely unnecessary. Spurned by a catty spirit and bit of jealousy. Double ugh. It was pricking at my subconscious and God was bringing it to my attention. Quietly, I got out of bed and went to the only place where I can shut the world out, my closet. There, I lay before my God and answered His question. I told Him what was on my heart. I asked forgiveness. I lay it all out at his feet. Oh, to learn the lessons I am trying to teach my sweet children. So, so much better to comprehend the power of confession and forgiveness at 11 rather at 41.
So, I ask you, "What's on your heart?"
Amanda Williams is a forty-year old wife and mother of two who can still swing her pony tail and display just a tad of sass. She is also a Jesus loving girl who realizes she is nothing without the One who saved her. Amanda has two degrees specializing in serving students with special needs and is currently working in the field of Leadership Development. She is a Christian author, speaker, blogger, and publisher who loves serving beside her husband at her local place of worship, First Baptist Church of Ocala.